Wow…Where do I even begin? We arrived to Jamaica last Sunday but before I begin to share what the Lord has been doing in Jamaica, I want to share what He’s been doing in my heart. I arrived to training camp in Gainesville GA on May 31. Everyday at training camp, we were encouraged to sit with the Lord, wait on the Lord, talk to the Lord and spend time listening to Jesus. We had many amazing people bring us the Word of God and show us how we can take steps to prepare our hearts for what’s to come in these next few weeks in Jamaica. So after many fresh revelations, new understandings, and perspective shifts I felt so ready for Jamaica! The Lord had already taught me so much and I was so expectant for what was to come from a whole month in Jamaica! On the Last day of Training Camp, we had a baptism night, where people had the opportunity to get baptized before we all headed out to our different locations, some going to Thailand, Cambodia, Guatemala, and South Africa! Baptisms started early in the evening and lasted a couple of hours. Everyone was so in awe of what the Lord was doing in the hearts of His children! After much prayer and praise up to the Lord, I felt a stirring in my heart, I was slightly confused, I asked, Lord… what’s this for? And He directed my attention to the water. Now I was extra confused, I had been baptized before… years and years ago and have been actually walking with the Lord for almost four years now. I didn’t understand why He was directing me to the water. I asked my sweet sister, Taylor O’Neal, to pray with me because I wanted to make sure I was hearing the Lord correctly. My mind was overcrowded with fear of man, thinking what other would think and began to be filled with lies from the enemy, as soon as we began to pray, I felt an overwhelming feeling in my chest, it wasn’t heavy, it was warm…I began to cry. He spoke to me, “I want to do a new thing in you”, “I want to take you deeper”. The Lord wanted to wash away all of the lesser loves I had settled for and idolized, all of the fear of man, all of the lies I had believed. He wanted to wash away my old assumptions and expectations I had of Him. I had settled for how far He had taken me but He wanted to take me further.  I believed the lie from the enemy I needed to “do more” before I could deeper with the Lord. But what a lie? To believe there’s anything I could do to get me there… it is only by the BLOOD OF CHRIST! The Lord gave me an image of myself in deep blue waters and looking out to see the shoreline fade, and as I begin to loose sight of the shore, I look up with a fixated gaze on the King, and I found that as long as I behold Him, the deep waters aren’t scary, they are restful. The Lord showed me my gaze had been fixed on lesser loves, one being comfort. I was comfortable with where I was, close enough to the shore where I felt like I was in the deep end but could rest in the comfort of seeing the shore right infront of me, if anything goes wrong I can quickly retreat to land. As I stepped in the water, my friends began to cover me in prayer, I was felt Jesus’ overwhelming love and heard over and over and over again… “a life fully abandoned for me.” Jesus was uprooting me from all lesser loves, all comfort, all complacency, everything that wasn’t Him. He wants us to be rooted in Him and Him alone.

The Hebrew word for “abandoned” is לַעֲזוֹב (la-a-ZOV) meaning “To leave, quit, abandon”. Jesus was speaking to me to leave behind everything that wasn’t holding me back from diving into the depths of His love, quit striving and trying to work for more of Him, and to live a life fully abandoned for Him. I am so thankful to be re baptized into the love of Christ and to truly walk in the identity of being His beloved daughter and Bride. I’m so overwhelmed with gratitude for what the Lord did at Training camp and who the Lord has placed me with on this trip. The Lord was so intentional with who He placed on this trip, I’ve been encouraged and impacted in so many different ways by the people around me, strangers who instantly turned to family, the Lord is so so good and I’m so excited to share all He does while here in Jamaica and among all the beautiful people I encounter!